New parent here, and this is something I think about a lot for myself and my kid. Besides helping my kid be curious and support him in pursuing his interests, it is also important to (somehow) help him learn that he will sometimes lose interest, it’s ok to revisit this interest in the future, and how to find new interests. I don’t know what’s the best approach yet, and I’ll admit I’m figuring this out for myself too.
Interesting . I Also find it quite distasteful that vcs fetishize the childhood trauma stories. Perhaps you might enjoy my post “why are you a founder”. Lmk what you think
100% agree. As someone who grew in the bay area bubble, I only learned the passion for curiosity and growth in college in the midwest. Even though my parents were never really the “tiger” parents, the influence of those around me caused me to act in checkboxes. Not just parents, but the systems need to adjust as well.
This is wild. And scary. Bay area is a clear anomaly but I wonder how many of these hyper functioning kids will grow up to be successful but without a loving family of their own. Agency should also render people conscious of the power to be their own person, rather than be on a perpetual mission to make others proud of them.
"So to parents: Stop fearing standardized tests or B-minuses."
Should definitely fear those, though. Gotta keep the kids away from institutionalized schooling at all costs. If your schedule and engagement rhythm is hard-coded, you sit around all day and you need to ask for permission to go to the bathroom... that's not gonna erode agency, agency will never be instilled in their formative years in the first place. Learning it later is harder and more painful. Maybe an hour a day of basic reading and math instruction is worthwhile, and the rest of the time, better send the kids into the woods to have fun doing social, physically engaging Scout stuff till age 12. If you send them back into formal schooling at age 12, they'll be ahead of their normie peers by age 13.
Loved this — Super curious to understand how your parents promoted and pushed you to discover your passions and also tactically how you explored, what you found helped you beyond the initial inspiration (slime and project runway). A founder (specifically obsessed with learning and educaton) and an educator and a parent and think about this a lot now both for my child and how to empower more - the high stakes elite college admissions game is a serious problem because so much is geared toward playing the game as you say (lots of zero sum ones), vs curiosity real world games which can be infinite if you are open to doing the hard work of figuring out who you are,
Agree. I'm in the Bay and send my kids to a Chinese immersion school. 5 year olds are learning 3 languages. It's wild.
I remarked to a parent of my kid's friend that he must be proud to have such a smart kid. "I'm worried she's not going to achieve anything. She needs to learn to work harder." He's a founder of course.
I live in MA, we had a neighbor that moved from the Bay Area and I met her for the first time at the bus stop. Her kids were in Kindergarden and pre school and they were trying public school because we didn’t have Mandarin emersion schools close by. I went inside after the bus came and contemplated my life choices.
Inspiring to see genuinely great parenting advice come from a person who’s 19 and has no kids!
gently, i do not ask people who do not work on cars to work on my car, tyvm
New parent here, and this is something I think about a lot for myself and my kid. Besides helping my kid be curious and support him in pursuing his interests, it is also important to (somehow) help him learn that he will sometimes lose interest, it’s ok to revisit this interest in the future, and how to find new interests. I don’t know what’s the best approach yet, and I’ll admit I’m figuring this out for myself too.
good one. the more I think about it - the smart ones are those who can think for themselves and are high agency
Interesting . I Also find it quite distasteful that vcs fetishize the childhood trauma stories. Perhaps you might enjoy my post “why are you a founder”. Lmk what you think
LOL (also I'm sitting in a VC thing right now and there was a comment on gay founders -- the word was "it's negligible")
fund for only straight women next LOL
100% agree. As someone who grew in the bay area bubble, I only learned the passion for curiosity and growth in college in the midwest. Even though my parents were never really the “tiger” parents, the influence of those around me caused me to act in checkboxes. Not just parents, but the systems need to adjust as well.
Really a very good perspective on parenting
I just hit the subscribe button. Love it! Think I am getting as addicted to Substack as I am to YouTube :)
Great piece , astute observations. I’m wondering how to raise my kids in such a high agency manner.
This is wild. And scary. Bay area is a clear anomaly but I wonder how many of these hyper functioning kids will grow up to be successful but without a loving family of their own. Agency should also render people conscious of the power to be their own person, rather than be on a perpetual mission to make others proud of them.
"So to parents: Stop fearing standardized tests or B-minuses."
Should definitely fear those, though. Gotta keep the kids away from institutionalized schooling at all costs. If your schedule and engagement rhythm is hard-coded, you sit around all day and you need to ask for permission to go to the bathroom... that's not gonna erode agency, agency will never be instilled in their formative years in the first place. Learning it later is harder and more painful. Maybe an hour a day of basic reading and math instruction is worthwhile, and the rest of the time, better send the kids into the woods to have fun doing social, physically engaging Scout stuff till age 12. If you send them back into formal schooling at age 12, they'll be ahead of their normie peers by age 13.
Couldnt agree more.
Heraclitus said, "A man doesnt jump in the same river twice, its never the same river and its never the same man"
Most of education is training for what worked in the past not what will work in the future.
Curiosity is the only way forward ... and current education stifles it actively rather than fostering it.
https://wisdomandprosperity.substack.com/p/is-expecting-accountability-a-recipe
This reminds me of a speech about "Excellent Sheep," which is also a book.
https://fs.blog/great-talks/solitude-and-leadership/
Loved this — Super curious to understand how your parents promoted and pushed you to discover your passions and also tactically how you explored, what you found helped you beyond the initial inspiration (slime and project runway). A founder (specifically obsessed with learning and educaton) and an educator and a parent and think about this a lot now both for my child and how to empower more - the high stakes elite college admissions game is a serious problem because so much is geared toward playing the game as you say (lots of zero sum ones), vs curiosity real world games which can be infinite if you are open to doing the hard work of figuring out who you are,
and what you value.
Agree. I'm in the Bay and send my kids to a Chinese immersion school. 5 year olds are learning 3 languages. It's wild.
I remarked to a parent of my kid's friend that he must be proud to have such a smart kid. "I'm worried she's not going to achieve anything. She needs to learn to work harder." He's a founder of course.
I live in MA, we had a neighbor that moved from the Bay Area and I met her for the first time at the bus stop. Her kids were in Kindergarden and pre school and they were trying public school because we didn’t have Mandarin emersion schools close by. I went inside after the bus came and contemplated my life choices.